

Maybe I don’t sound like I’m answering your question but I am: You don’t have to be defined by the mistakes you’ve made but you can learn from them. We often figure out who we are by trying out new identities: A lot of us learn what suits us best by trying out everything that doesn’t fit first - whether that’s friends or scenes, hairstyles or behaviors, controlled substances or uncontrollable exes. People love to belittle other people for “going through a phase” but, honestly, that’s all we do - over and over. All those mistakes and missteps are useful - and they’re a big part of how we all change. We all make mistakes, get lost, waste time, act up, and act out. What should I do? Is there any way to move past this as a couple so we can continue to build our future together?īefore I get into the particulars of your email, I just want to say that, yes, it’s certainly possible to move forward. He is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, without a doubt The One for me.

When it comes up in conversation, it always seems like it’s too much for him and he can’t take it anymore. He deserves someone so wonderful and I don’t feel like I can be that for him with this past of mine that seems to linger in the back of his mind.

I don’t want to lose him and I’m scared that this is going to cause us to drift apart. He can’t seem to get over the fact that I was so sexualized in the profession that I’m in and continue to pursue athletic training anyways. Seven months later, I’m happier than I have ever been. I had taken the time to find and better myself. I met my boyfriend in December of 2016, two months after I had cut ties with my past. I’m not trying to make any sort of excuse for my behavior because I am aware that it was wrong and I should have been more mature. I never acknowledged the attention they would give me because it wasn’t filling the void I was trying to fill. I went out every weekend, I got really drunk, and I was regularly approached by guys. During the next two years, I was a party girl. I was disciplined by the school, shamed by my classmates, and I even shamed myself. I was in school to become an athletic trainer, and got involved with an athlete in a drunken escapade and lost my virginity. I took on the stress of everyone else and didn’t want anyone to see that I was hurting too. In the fall of 2014, my parents were fresh out of a divorce and my dad was already engaged to another woman. My boyfriend is upset with my past and he can’t seem to get over it.
